Um...didn't Lily Labeau used to have arms? Did I make that up?

So, uh, did you just see what I saw? Because I'll admit it, I'm not totally clear on what I just watched. This bold excursion into musical filmmaking courtesy of Chad Alva and Danny Wylde (known collectively as Children), arrived deep within my inbox this morning, and it left me feeling old and sad. Is that what the post-industrial drone of Children does to people? Am I slowly dying now? Am I quickly dying now? What has happened to us all?

I'll freely admit that metaphor and allegory are not things I can usually interpret without difficulty. So I'll just have to recap the highlights of this video, and my thoughts on each of them.

• Lily LaBeau playing drums with her head: I hadn't realized that Lily LaBeau was a drummer, or that she didn't have arms. Needless to say, this part of the video was awesome. The fact that she plays drums while blindfolded is just balls-ass nuts. Take that, whoever this dick is!
• The part where they're covered in blood and shaking a pig's head: As far as I can tell, this is meant to represent man's inhumanity to his offspring. A pig's head, as we all know from reading Jung, implies innocence and naivete. So to shake a pig's head while covered in blood clearly makes a pretty audacious statement about the long-lasting phyisiological effects of violence against children. Plus, it's totally bad-ass, I guess!
• Those little guitars: They represent big guitars, only little. Deep!
• Note how the pig's head gets cooked during the course of the video: This reflects the charred flesh of the naive and innocent left over after the day of reckoning. Also, ham.
• Lily LaBeau gets whammed with her own disembodied arms: This is a comment on hitting people with their own arms, and about the masks we, as a people, wear to protect ourselves from harm.
• Chad and Danny are nearly nude but not totally nude: This represents those guys being total pussies. We've already seen your dicks, idiots!
• The upside-down crucifixion of Lily: Much the opposite of Jesus dying for our sins, this explains how we all sin because we crave death. Or not, I guess.

So, Children are getting ready to take their post-industrial, mega-magic, dark-avenging, calamity-claw show on the road, where you will most likely be murdered by them. Feel fear.

Oh, and this video was totally directed by Werner Herzog.

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