Full disclosure: I've got a bottle-shaped penis. If you stretched a few inches of human skin over a glass Coca-Cola bottle and added a few nuts (and a birthmark), you'd have an almost exact replica of my wang. So you can imagine how much I was affected by that one Coke-bottle-suckjob scene in Truth or Dare. That's why, though I can think of more reasons to hate Madonna than love her, I'll always have an unexplainable attraction to her. Especially vintage Madonna.

So when I found out that Christie's is auctioning off a 1979 Lee Freidlander shot of a nude (and incredibly hairy) Madonna, shit...I just think this is something we need for the POPPORN office's wall.

A few weeks back, Josie Jacobs, our resident awesome lady, decided to go to the polls and ask our loyal readers which sex toy she should review next.

Last time I wrote (which was almost a month ago, my apologies but really we should all be mad at Bangs as he forgot I even sent him the last one) I mentioned going home to the East Coast to see my Mom and family for the holidays. I have to say, I’m one lucky little slut.

It's probably safe to say that a lot of the folks reading and contributing to POPPORN grew up in the age of legos and less-than-stellar computer graphics. I know I did.

It's Friday. One step closer to death but you've made it.

Enjoy your weekend, this tittay sure is! It's got POPPORN.com all over it!

So, a lot of folks are wondering how the recession is hitting the fuckmaking industry in America. A non-profit news-type organization called spot.us is concerned as hell about the prostitution industry, and they need your help.

You guys know Whitney Port, right? She's one of those new pseudo-celebrities from MTV? It's okay if you don't know who she is. MEAT BALL had to google her. But he's a recluse who can't afford a television. As it turns out, she's one of the stars of the much-loved (and also much-hated, ironically) program known as "The Hills", or perhaps "Hill Street Blues". We forget which. She's also got her own new reality program (pronounced "pro-grum") called "The City", which is a spin-off of the aforementioned "Hills" show.

Faith is a difficult thing. No, not the song, that's pretty easy to groove out to. We're talking about something that you believe in with the very essence of your being. Something that when you say it out loud, makes perfect sense to you. It need not be proven by scientific data, explained in anyway that makes actual sense or even exist...you know, like Jesus.

Charles Barkley, star of that Nike Commercial with Humpty Hump in it (he also apparently had made some headlines for playing something called "baskerball", or something like that) was recently charged with DUI while cruising through Arizona on New Year's Eve. But it wasn't one of those regular, dangerous kinds of DUIs that dudes get locked up for. See, Charles had some important shit he had to get to. So speeding and ignoring road signs while drunk was a necessity in this case.

Tommy Gunn, perhaps the greatest male performer in the entire pornographic industry, is about to send a major shockwave through the porn industry. No, we're not talking about Phallitrex. We're talking about Tommy's new line of 3-D interactive porno movies! Anybody's who's seen Tommy in action knows that he's far too big a star (with far too big a wang) to be contained by two lousy dimensions.

Maybe you heard that we covered the 2009 AVN Awards red carpet. You know, the red carpet where all the superstars of sin show up to look glamorous and talk the talk while walking the walk. Maybe what you didn't know tho' was that this very time last year, a few of us were sitting around discussing the idea for this here blog that you are now reading. Yup, we figured hell, we should start our own site and deal out a little hell raising with the best of them.

So the porn industry wants a bailout. Oh yes, you heard me. Controversial porn moguls Larry Flynt whom everybody knows as the brains behind Hustler and Joe Francis, best known for his Girls Gone Wild video series as well as his laundry list of legal snafus, proposed a $5 billion government bailout to shore up the floundering adult industry.